Hillbilly Race Report: The Battle of Kempsville

The war between the Beach Army and the Collective Chaos Army has been a long and bloody fight. There have been many brave soldiers that have come and gone in this everlasting conflict. For seven years this war has lasted, and too many times the Beach Bums have brought the battle to the sticks. Fort Chaos has been invaded week after week, and this time we would take the fight to the ruthless gunmen in the sand. This skirmish would be waged at Kempsville (Shawn Molter’s Kempsville Raceway), and our forces would be led by our Superstock specialist, General Robert Marshall Hall (Bob). Bob, who was discovered to be the uncle of the Edwards’ clan, marched our troops into a battle that we would be outnumbered by 7 to 6. We would not be discouraged. Our man count was 7 to 5, when we quickly recruited Mike Ose from the Newport News Army to back our cause. The Beach Army would not be without their recruits, as they would hire gunmen James Kennedy from the Norfolk Army. The Beach Army consisted of General Shawn Molter, Tom Bowman, James Kennedy, Jerry Schmoyer, Mr. Rookie Captain John Smith (without Pocahontas), Josh Bowman, and Scott Schmoyer. The Chaos Army included General and Uncle Bob Hall, Brian Edwards, Michelle ‘Mo’ Edwards, Ryne ‘Ryno’ Edwards, Carleton Gunther, and Mike Ose. The triggers were itchy, and the weapons were varied. We would battle with Beach Jets, the preferred weapon of choice by the Beach Army, and Superstocks. We fought first with the Beach Jets and quickly learned the terrain was tough and unknown. Shawn’s Kempsville Raceway lived up to its billing as being both tough to drive and yet fast with long straights. The track surface was smooth and the rails were even all the way around. We were ready to storm the beach and claim our ground in the spirit of the hillbillies left behind.

BEACH JET SEMIS
As the Beach Jets lined up, the track was unfamiliar to most of us, and quickly adaptable to some. Mike Ose struggled into 13th with 31 laps. His Jet, which looked like a tribute to General Lee, ran on stock rubber causing his poor performance. Michelle ‘Mo’ Edwards finished 12th with 37 laps and 0 sections recorded. Ryne ‘Ryno’ Edwards took full advantage of the scoring mishap and finished in 11th with 37 laps and 40 sections. Carleton Gunther finished 10th with 42 laps in his first ever Beach Jet race and first ever race at Kempsville Raceway. Scott Schmoyer rolled in 9th with 43 laps. Josh Bowman nudged out Scott for 8th with 45 laps. Josh turned a disappointing 10 laps in the blue lane, but made up for the error by turning 13 in the yellow lane. Brian Edwards took 7th with 48 laps and 32 sections. 6th place went to ‘Mr Rookie’ John Smith with 48 laps and 58 sections. Uncle Bob Hall took 5th with 50 laps overall. Both Uncle Bob and Brian battled side-by-side for the entire semis. The two kept rubbing and bumping around the track and most likely cost the two better finishing positions. Brian turned 13 laps in blue after Uncle Bob made his exit from the track. Mr Rookie sneaked in and took a position from Brian while he was banging on Uncle Bob’s Jet. Mr Rookie stayed steady throughout the semis turning 12 laps in all four lanes. Uncle Bob was able to turn 13 laps in both yellow and blue despite his rather aggressive driving style. Shawn Molter turned 14 laps in yellow and 15 laps in green to finish 4th with 53 laps. 3rd place was King James Kennedy, one more lap than Shawn, with 54 total laps. King James managed 14 laps in green and 15 laps in yellow. Beach Jet guru Tom Bowman, the Magnet Man, finished 2nd with 14 laps in green, yellow, and blue lane for an overall 55 laps. Jerry Schmoyer would take just one more lap than Tom to finish in 1st with 56 laps. Jerry scored 14 laps in both the green and blue lanes and a heat high 16 laps in yellow.

BEACH JET ‘C’ MAIN
Scott, Ryno, Mo, Carleton, and Mike qualified for this event. Ryno was 5th with 41 laps total. Ryno managed only 9 laps in blue and 10 laps in white that resulted in his last place finish. Mo crossed in 4th with 47 laps. Carleton grabbed 3rd with 50 laps. Carleton was very consistent turning 12 laps in blue, white, and green. 2nd place was all Mike with 57 laps and 42 sections. Mike was barely edged out of 1st by Scott who turned 57 laps and 65 sections. Both Scott and Mike were uncontested by the rest of the field and it was up to them to decide the winner. Mike was able to cure his handling problems by outfitting his Jet with silicon sponge tires between the semi and the main. The tires were all the difference, and Mike was able to make it an interesting finish to the main. Congratulations go to Mike and Scott for a very fun contest.

BEACH JET ‘B’ MAIN
Mr Rookie, Josh, Brian, and Uncle Bob made up this event’s entrees. Uncle Bob and Brian decided to leave their bumping in the semis and race each other clean for the main event. This main looked to be a tight race all the way through as no one driver could get too far away from the other. Each driver felt the heat from the rest of the competitors, and it seemed more like a friendly jam session than an actual competition. Something magical happened in this event, and while only the participants will ever know what actually happened here, it was as though something bigger than the entire field had some sort of intervention. When all of the brush dust settled and the shoe shavings rested on the rails, all four racers finished with the same 61 laps and 19 sections. It was a racing phenomenon, and each racer walked away with the satisfaction of finishing on top. When asked about the incredible finish, Mr Rookie had this to say, “It was a hell of a race. Mainly, it was just one hell of a race. Close, I’ve never seen a race finish that close. We were all on the same lap section same track section. It was awesome. I can’t wait to do this again, you know.” While all four racers seem to echo the same sentiments, this racer vows to take the truth to the grave racing.

BEACH JET ‘A’ MAIN
There was plenty of action in this event as Jerry, James, Shawn, and Tom battled for 1st place. This race would be just as tight as the ‘B’ Main, but with a clear winner. Tom Bowman ran in 4th with 66 laps. Tom turned 17 laps in white, green, and yellow. James turned one more lap than Tom with 67 laps. James turned 17 laps in yellow, blue, and white. James turned 16 laps in green, and was one more than Tom’s 15 laps in blue. Shawn’s home track advantage was about 23 sections short of first as he finished with 68 laps and 43 sections. Jerry grabbed that 23 section deficit and finished 1st with 68 laps and 66 sections. Jerry and Shawn both scored 16 laps in white and 17 laps in green. Jerry triggered 17 laps in blue and 18 in yellow, while Shawn had the opposite with 17 laps in yellow and 18 laps in blue. 18 laps in blue was the highest total for that lane in the entire race. Talk about pressure, the blue lane proved to be the most difficult for all the racers, except for hometown racer Shawn Molter.

SUPERSTOCK SEMIS
9 racers made up the field for the main attraction. Brian, Bob, Josh, Tom, Carleton, Mr Rookie, James, Shawn, and Mike all participated in this event. Qualifying 9th was Carleton with 112 laps. 8th was Josh with 130 laps. Mike was better prepared for the superstock event as he made sure his car was not running on stock rubber. Mike came home in 7th with 131 laps. Carleton, Josh, and Mike all qualified for the ‘C’ Main. In 6th place was Mr Rookie with 137 laps. Tom was 5th with 138 laps, and Brian rounded out the ‘B’ Main qualifying with 140 laps good for 4th place. Brian turned a miserable 29 laps in white, but rebounded to turn 39 laps in green. Brian commented on his terrible finish by saying, “I just overdrove my car in white.” Qualifying for the ‘A’ Main was Bob in 3rd with 41 laps in yellow and a total of 150 and 36 sections, Shawn in 2nd with 39 in green, 40 in yellow, and a total of 150 and 45 sections, and 1st place was James with 159 laps. James turned 39 in white, 40 in green, and 43 in yellow.

SUPERSTOCK ‘C’ MAIN
The ‘C’ Main had a tough battle for 2nd as Mike and Carleton both recorded 174 circuits. Carleton, who was racing his first ever Beach Jet and Superstock races, finished with 4 sections more than Mike to take 2nd. Josh ran away in 1st finishing 9 laps ahead of both 2nd and 3rd with 183 laps. Going into the last heat, Mike had a 3-lap advantage over Josh and a 5-lap advantage over Carleton. Carleton made up the five lap deficit to beat Mike, while Josh took his driving to another level and erased his 3 lap deficit by making up 12 laps to finish with a commanding 9 lap win.

SUPERSTOCK ‘B’ MAIN
Mr Rookie, Tom, and Brian raced for the win in this main. Going into the third heat, Tom had a 2-lap advantage over both Mr Rookie and Brian. Tom’s 50 laps in yellow was the deciding total over Mr Rookie’s 48 laps in green and Brian’s 48 laps in white. Mr Rookie made up 2 laps by turning 49 in yellow to match Tom’s total, while Brian made up 5 laps with 52 laps in green to take a 3-lap advantage into the final heat. Mr Rookie turned only 45 laps in the heat to finish in 3rd with 189 laps total. Tom would gain a lap on Brian with a hard charging 53 laps in green that would come up just short and finish in 2nd. Brian took 52 trips around the raceway to hold off Tom for 1st place and finish with 199 laps total. This too was a race that went down to the final heat.

SUPERSTOCK ‘A’ MAIN
Uncle Bob, Shawn, and King James threw lexan all over the track in this contest. 50 laps was turned 7 times in this event, and 60 laps was also accomplished once. These three competitors were flying around the rails at a dizzying pace. Uncle Bob saw 56 laps in yellow and finished 3rd with 202 laps total. Uncle Bob struggled with the blue lane turning only 48 laps. White lane would prove to be a problem for King James as he only managed 48 laps. King James also turned 56 laps in blue, 52 laps in green, and a strong 60 laps in yellow to total 216 circuits good for 2nd place overall. Shawn would take the home track advantage and score 220 laps for a 1st place finish. Shawn tallied 50+ laps in all four lanes with figures of 57 in yellow, 53 in blue, 56 in white, and 54 in green. Much more importantly, congratulations to Shawn for throwing a very successful event.

THE WAR MOVES ON
The casualties were few and the spirits were high as the Hillbillies retreated homeward for Fort Chaos. While the Beach Boys took a decisive victory at the Battle of Kempsville, the Hillbillies swore to continue the war. As you read this, battle plans are being made to cover the entire eastern Virginia area. We will always greet the Beach Boys with a hard fought contest, and we welcome the fight.

RACE NOTES
The Superstock race was made up of a mostly Wizzard field with a variety of P2, P3, and Scorpion cars. The 'B' Main proved to be most interesting with a Scorpion driven by Mr Rookie competing against a Panther driven by Tom Bowman, and a near extinct LifeLike driven by Brian Edwards. Most every racer will tell you that the LifeLike was at a distinct disadvantage against both the Scorpion and Panther, but Brian drove a superb race putting the LifeLike ahead of BOTH the Panther and the NEW Scorpion. The critics will be buzzing for sure.

BEACH JETS:

‘A’ MAIN
1) Jerry – 68.66
2) Shawn – 68.43
3) King James – 67
4) Tom – 66

‘B’ MAIN
1) Uncle Bob – 61.19
1) Brian – 61.19
1) Mr Rookie – 61.19
1) Josh – 61.19

‘C’ MAIN
1) Scott – 57.65
2) Mike – 57.42
3) Carleton – 50
4) Mo – 47
5) Ryno – 41

SUPERSTOCKS:

‘A’ MAIN
1) Shawn – 220
2) King James – 216
3) Uncle Bob – 202

‘B’ MAIN
1) Brian – 199
2) Tom – 197
3) Mr Rookie – 189

‘C’ MAIN
1) Josh – 183
2) Carleton – 174.75
3) Mike – 174.71